"I think I meant daschund. But, I committed to it. I’m 99% positive that by the time ‘Dutchman’ came out of my mouth, I knew I was saying the wrong word."

Tom Lennon laughing is one of my most favouritest things.

"It’s a man who has acidic butts for hands. What?! How.. What.. Name a worse way to catch a mouse."

"I swam the English channel.""I was under you with Aquaman taking pictures and you didn’t even see me."

"I swam the English channel."
"I was under you with Aquaman taking pictures and you didn’t even see me."

"Nothing’s scarier than really scary robot arms."

"Nothing’s scarier than really scary robot arms."

"Hey. Hey. Look at me. Look at me. LOOK AT ME. You know that little dog in The Artist? Golden Globe already. Where’s your fucking Golden Globe? Yeah.”

"Hey - you will never know how delicious chocolate is."

"Hey - you will never know how delicious chocolate is."